Love? No, I prefer vodka.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Rubik's Cube Mosaic

This is pretty dope. Too much work and problem solving for

my taste tho..lol. I can't solve ONE rubik's cube, let alone

336 of them and make a mosaic portrait out of it.

F**k that! -__- lol..ne way, here's a clip..ENJOY.

Tomorrow Is Never Promised

Rest in Paradise Bob. It was a pleasure working with you.

Thank you for letting me be part of your life,

as well as touching the lives of the people

around you -- especially our patients.

You will truly be missed.

Bobby Lee Belford.

Nov. 6, 1967 - Oct. 29, 2011.

QOTD:

"The one you love and the ones who love you are never, ever the same person."
-Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

It's been a while since I last blogged. Let's see.... this month's been a little overwhelming for me. From the death of my grandmother, to my little nephew and his grandma getting in a car accident, to my step-mom losing her job, stressing over a dilemma at my job from August, and to finding out tonight of another person's death that I shared a part of my life with. Amongst the little things that goes on on a day-to-day basis, I still have my own personal shit I have to deal with. This has definitely called for a lot of soul-searching...and patience....and "holding my composure and keeping it together and NOT have a mental breakdown!" type of discipline lol. Doesn't help the fact too, that the only person that I'm sure will and can make it all better for me is hundreds of miles away. And to be quite honest...this whole 'long distance relationship' is starting to take its toll on me. It gets lonely. The last time I was with RC was on the 2nd of October. She'll be here again on the 11th of November, so everything about this relationship revolves around time. It's moving too slow or too fast. There's not enough time, or we spend too much time..alone and away from each other. We count by days and weeks. Watch the minutes and hours pass. Every second, every sunrise, and every sunset. It's very hard. But for those of you that knows me well, and have been there throughout my relationships know that I don't give up easy. I will try and try and make it work. I will stand up and fight for my relationship until that switch in my head turns off and tells me to 'move the fuck on'. I don't see that happening anytime soon. :) We both want this and we also knew that this was NOT going to be easy. We both have the same goals for our future and I know that once we get there, this will all be worth the struggle.

So speaking of OUR future, this weekend we celebrated Halloween weekend by staying home on the phone, searching on the internet for an apartment in New York. Brooklyn area to be exact. Fun huh?!?! lol. (It was for us and that's all that matters). We also have been getting some help with job referrals and suggestions from our friends in NY, so slowly but surely we are getting the ball rolling. Our goal is to be there by the end of February/ beginning of March. But if everything falls in place, we actually may be looking at something waaaay before that date. :) We are mos def praying for the best, so until then.....we just have to keep our focus and most importantly, our faith. I mean, I can't express enough how very excited & anxious I am about all of this. The last time I attempted to move to New York was in August of last year. But then, things happened and it brought me to where I am now. I'm not complaining tho. I'm mos def a lot stronger and wiser now and this time around, I have nothing holding me back.

What else......I think that's pretty much it. I haven't really been out. Actually, not at all since I was last out with RC. With everything that's happened, and is still going on....I've pretty much just kept to myself and stayed around family. I have so much going on in my head that I wouldn't really make a good companion to be around right now. I'm always on my phone and I just look distracted -- like, I'm there, but I'm not really there...lol. So yeah...not a good look!! O_o But, I'm fortunate enough to have the people that is still around me to keep me leveled. And most importantly, I have my #1 support..... my girlfriend. Man, I'm sure I have put this girl through hell and back with my constant mood swings, and my early morning bursts of crankiness (my poor baby...haha sorry babe...). But I can easily say that she's handling all of this pretty well. Don't get me wrong, she's had her moments too (but that's for a whole 'nother post, lol)...but she gets the REAL concept of being in a relationship and what a relationship is all about. Talking and working things out without carrying it on unresolved, giving each other space when needed, all the morals, values, and understanding. She just gets IT! We have officially been together for 2mos now, and everything is PERFECT! I know you all are thinking that it's still new and we still have much to figure out about each other, and we're not around each other enough...blah blah deefucking blaaaaah kjdfjsdhuihrkh...but guess what?!? WE KNOW!! lol. But we also know that these feelings are just something we just can't and won't ignore, and we are embracing every moment of it as much as we can. Whether it's everlasting or not, we have it and it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful feeling to wake up to every morning, to be high off of all day long, and to have it keep you awake at night. Our relationship isn't based on lust, alcohol, money, drugs, infatuation, or physical attention. It is strictly based on our emotional connection.... and that my friend, is the hardest thing to come by. It's something you can't change about a person nor something you can just settle with when it's not fully there. At this moment, we're happy and we share a healthy relationship and that's what's important.

I must say that I'm just thankful for everything that I do have & every experience that's coming my way. I know that I'm walking a path to bigger and better things. God is good, and I've been blessed with the courage and wisdom to overcome these obstacles that's being thrown my way. :)

"Life is a dream...REALIZE IT."